When it comes to soccer there are few less knowledgeable experts than Tom English, or Succulent Tam or ‘blue specky whale’ as others in the business describe him.
After trashing circulation at Scotland on Sunday where he filled the pages previously graced by Kevin McCarra, Graeme Spiers and Jonathan Northcroft, English talked his way into a role with BBC Scotland as the Irishman keen to put the boot into all matters Celtic. Anything, everything.
McCarra and Northcroft were head-hunted by The Times, a commercial publisher. Without their skills and ability Scotland on Sunday sent out an SOS with English jumping ship to BBC Scotland despite failing to break a worthwhile story in the newspaper business.
Hilariously he was still championing Craig Whyte even after James Traynor and the Daily Record gave up on the former billionaire. Google can delete articles online but it can’t wipe out the cheerleading that English produced for his masters right up until 14 February 2012. Libraries are full of his defence of Mister Whyte.
The really interesting thing to take from this email, is the collaboration in fabricating a narrative to get a point across.
It’s all staged.“Tom English has said he’ll have a pop at Paul Murray… Scotsman used his comments on the back page with our responses ie. irrelevant.” pic.twitter.com/UQz9KDfDZQ
— Lint (@Zeshankenzo) August 20, 2019
Despite his staunch backing for Whyte the state broadcaster took on English, apparently he is knowledgeable about egg-chasing and writes books about it but since no-one in Scotland cares for hookers and flankers he is in a field of one.
A classic from English was his coverage of Virgil van Dijk. Within a month of his Celtic debut in 2013 it was obvious that he was a class performer, someone destined for the very top.
Whether it was to argue against an eight figure fee coming to Celtic or to advertise his own lack of understanding English had this to say on the BBC website in February 2015, three years later Van Dijk was playing in the Champions League final, four years later he won it while English watches Lions tours and the Olympic Games on the telly from his Glasgow studio.
His (Van Dijk’s) languid style works a treat here. He has time and space to play. And he can play, no question. But put him in Europe against smart attackers with pace and guile and Van Dijk begins to look precisely what he is – a callow defender still learning his art, a player whose anticipation of danger is not what it should be given the loftiness of his reputation.
Van Dijk might turn into a “top player”, but he’s not there yet. The evidence of Europe this season would suggest that he’s got a distance to go.
Celtic have conceded 22 goals in 13 European matches this season, including 10 in their last three. You don’t need to be a boffin to realise that a continuation of this trend on Thursday could prove fatal for their chances of pulling off a huge result against Inter Milan.
They have a puncher’s chance. They’ll be up against a slick attacking team in Inter but one whose vulnerabilities have already been exposed multiple times in this troubled season, not least by Celtic last week.
Ronny Deila’s team are making progress. They have a newfound threat going forward and a strength of character that nobody could question. They are an exciting team to watch, but that’s, in part, because, in Europe, they can be a danger to themselves.
Every one of their defenders can defend. The problem is that every one of them is capable of losing concentration at critical times and that’s been the problem with so many of the goals they have conceded.
The default setting here is to blame Efe Ambrose. But it’s not as simple as that. An analysis of Van Dijk’s defending in some of the bigger games in Europe this season shows that he’s as culpable as anybody else.
One player has gone on to play in two Champions League finals, the other for Livingston and St Johnstone.
While BBC Sport Merseyside state that the Nathan Patterson fee is undisclosed English and his chums in Glasgow are banging on about world record deals.
I thought so. Watching the replies to a wind up is hilarious. And it’s novel and refreshing to see sudden attention to detail in the media, will it catch on?
— Richard McGinley (@Richiestoke) January 6, 2022
Remember the tweet you wrote the other day about rangers fans falling for the fantasy football prices of Edouard and Tierney and everybody was taking the piss..
You did write a tweet about that, or am i just thinkn your havin a dig at a certain fanbase again to stay relevant??— Mal100 (@wmalton79) January 6, 2022
If only you had put the same effort into reporting all stories,without fear or favour, but,like the vast majority…you’re a place man.
— Pat (@croyceltic) January 6, 2022
BBC reported 16 million 24 hours later they had reduced it to 10 people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones
— JD1959 (@JoeDabernig) January 6, 2022
It’s not like you to play up to a certain support Tom ? pic.twitter.com/d8hSjK2dRn
— David campbell (@Davidc2508) January 6, 2022
You are passed your sell by date, you’re the worst journalist in Scotland and that is saying something. Time to pack away the typewriter
— ryan derby (@ryanderby4) January 6, 2022