Pass the parcel? Hugh Keevins’ bizarre O** F*** game is utterly trashed

After more than 50 years making a living off the back of the O** F*** Hugh Keevins reckons that the champions of Scotland is simply a game of pass the parcel. 

Since Celtic won the title last season the veteran Daily Record columnist thinks that this season’s title will be heading to Ibrox with the £30m plus windfall from Calvin Bassey and Joe Aribo adding to the financial strength of the debt-ridden tribute act. 

It could be a long wait for those precious add-ons to arrive if Nathan Starlet Patterson is anything to go by. 

Pass the parcel in a two horse race suggests a 50-50 split in honours but Celtic’s 10 titles out of 11 suggestion that there has been one very greedy nag in this so-called contest of equals. 

Add in four trebles over the same period and it takes the most extreme top spin to suggest that the two Glasgow Premiership clubs are similar in any way. 

A year ago Keevins pronounced that the first name of the new Celtic boss actually stood for Absolutely Not Good Enough. Aberdeen were tipped to beat the hoops into second place behind You Know Who. 

After the glorious summer of 2012 it seems that Keevins and his ilk are more desperate than ever to hang on to their O** F*** life raft, sadly the record books and plunging circulation figures confirm a man and newspaper that time has overtaken.