KILMARNOCK, SCOTLAND - OCTOBER 20: Rangers Manager Philippe Clement during a William Hill Premiership match between Kilmarnock and Rangers at Rugby Park, on October 20, 2024, in Kilmarnock, Scotand. (Photo by Craig Williamson/SNS Group via Getty Images)
Hugh Keevins has spent the time since Thursday contemplating a Europa League win for Phil Clement.
That is on top of retaining the League Cup at Hampden in a fortnight with his first ever win over Celtic.
The veteran Daily Record reporter still pines for those lazy days of the O** F*** sharing out trophies while he shares personal anecdotes of his special relationships with Sir Walter, Coisty and other heart-warming tales.
That stitch up came to a halt in 2012 with the death of Rangers.
Of 24 domestic trophies competed for since then Charles Green’s Tribute Act were founded just three have made their way to Ibrox, the same number as St Johnstone with both of those clubs recording their most significant triumphs in front of no fans during the freaky Lockdown season.
A year ago Keevins’ heart was skipping a beat as he explained why Clement was actually the Belgian Ange Postecoglou, conveniently overlooking a bizarre run of decision making by Crawford Allans’ Enforcers.
Since April 7 and a Moral Victory over Celtic it has been only a matter of time before Clement was removed from his job.
A lack of finances has delayed that decision but with crowds disappearing at Ibrox, crashing the income streams the time is soon approaching for a new saviour to be appointed.
Defying logic for prize guy Clement, in the Daily Record Keevins explains:
I asked the question here a couple of weeks ago.
What if Rangers beat Celtic in the Premier Sports Cup Final in two weeks’ time? Now, in the wake of Thursday night’s remarkable result against Nice, I upgrade my inquiry. What if Philippe Clement wins the Europa League too?
Rangers’ new CEO Patrick Stewart is, so the popular rumour goes, starting work on December 16 so he can make the sacking of Clement his first task in the wake of a cup final defeat at the hands of their greatest rivals.
He might instead be required to organise a service of repentance at Ibrox and invite those who have crucified, vilified and loudly decried the Belgian to publicly acknowledge, and apologise for, the error of their ways.
Keevins will find all bookmakers providing him with very generous odds over Clement winning any two trophies this season, they might also be offer some counselling for his family over the public embarrassment.
CLICK HERE for the Ange comparison.
The Assisted Dying Bill will surely see the end of this fanny. We can but dream.
Best laugh of the morning ? Thank you Andy.
We knew after the first home game against Dundee what we had with Ange Postecoglou – a winner who would play exciting football. I think we can all agree nobody – apart from the barking mad Keevins – believes Clouseau is even remotely like Ange Postecoglou. One victory in Europe against a team debuting youth academy players and suddenly he’s Bill Struth. Again.
Fair play to Auld Spew. He’s moved on from whataboutery to whatifery, as in ” Nurse what if I don’t shit my adult nappy this morning, do I get an extra rusk??
Bless!
We should be used to this Rubbish from this clown,all his career he has always went against the normal as he makes a living from it.Please stop reading or commenting on him and he will disappear same as Gerry mcnee
Why does this fud think they’re going to win the Europa League, just because they got one half decent result against a blend of the youth and reserve teams of the fifth(?) placed club in France? Like many clubs, they don’t seem that arsed about this competition and has he forgotten what happened when Lyon pitched up to play the Huns this season in the same competition? Or how easily they were despatched in the Champions’ League qualifiers by a mediocre Dynamo Kiev?
As for winning the League Cup in a fortnight, he wasn’t able to beat us in any if the derby games he presided over last season, when we were a shadow of the team we are just now. Even their fans reckon they’ve regressed since then too, so I’m not seeing how or why he’s suddenly going to change that record.
We have had decent results in the Champions’ League this season, but did any one honestly think we were going to win it because we battered Bratislava? Or even after that memorable win against Leipzig?
Keevins prefers the broken clock scenario to objective thought.
Basically if he just keeps tipping them to win, eventually he will be correct and bask in the “ I was the man who said they would”.
Doesn’t matter to him that his previous 387 predictions have all been bo llox.
Auld Shug doesn’t care that he makes himself look clueless and spiteful, to be right just the once is good enough for him, but that just takes us back to the broken clock doesn’t it.
The dinosaur is a bit of a lucky charm for us. Every time he predicts they’ll win we take great pleasure in proving him wrong usually with a gubbing.
What if Kugh Heevins became president of the World?
What if, what if, what if……………???????????
If, If, If, – Could, Could, Could, If, If, If….
If Keevin’s auntie had a cock she could be his uncle…
Unfortunately she doesn’t !
Next week the old QE2 will have big Pip ‘ advising ‘ Pep Guardiola on how to succeed as a football coach ,as the great man is experiencing a bit of a bad period recently in england….
Looks like shug getting reaction he wanted. Ask yourself who is more daft those who come out with crazy statements or those who react to them. ?
Editor: Circulation figures suggest that those reacting are having more of an impact.