The Ibrox Tribute Act has signed up a deal for chocolate products from Nestle!
Most Sports grounds, corner shops, chip shops and newsagents also sell Kit-Kats. Yorkie bars, Aeros and other snacks to rot your teeth and accelerate obesity are also on sale.
In the world of Rangers News this exciting development is getting the full treatment as they go ‘exploring the finances as Gers strike new commercial deal with £209bn company’.
IBROX INVESTMENT SCOOP
Yes that is the headline in the GRV Media website as they go overboard. It is the sort of story that even the Daily Record and BBC Scotland would quickly bat away.
Pranav Shahaney has put together the scoop which is unlikely to pick up many follow up stories.
As well as Ibrox related WORLD EXCLUSIVES he breaks similar stories for West Ham Zone and Tottenham Hotspur News.
He must have outstanding contacts to get the breaking news at three different clubs. West Ham and Spurs don’t exactly overlap.
Much like Andrew Cavenagh’s summer takeover which still attracts the 49ers treatment from gullible sources the detail of the Nestle story is a little underwhelming.
In a throwback to the days of Sir Davie sharing succulent lamb with the most obedient messengers, Rangers News reports:
Rangers have entered an agreement with Nestle Confectionery.
Nestle are valued at £209bn and will provide products to Ibrox and Edminston House.
With @Adam___Williams, we take a look at what this means financially for Rangers. ?? https://t.co/l2MpGH9oEP
— Pranav Shahaney (@PrSchadenfreude) February 26, 2026
That ‘story’ really needs to be skipped over unless you are more desperate for clicks that credibility.
Finance expert Adam Williams breaks the bad news of:
Nestle will probably sell wholesale to Rangers at discounted prices and then the club gets to keep the retail margin. Sometimes there are rebates once the club hits a certain number of sales.
Even the dumb and gullible at Ibrox won’t be speculating on which world stars will be joining the Rohl Revolution on the back of selling some chocolate bars to overweight bears.
On the official club website the story gets just four paragraphs followed by quotes from the club commercial guy and someone from Nestle.
With five different brands already on the first team shirt the club is clearly raking in the commercial deals.
One positive aspect is that Nestle aren’t involved in crypto with the Ibrox club famously stung by the crash of Sports Mongo. John Lundstram was pure made up by that deal.
The shop round the corner from me has an agreement with Nestle as well, they sell Rollo and Yorkie, they didn’t mention Nestle was worth 209bn, does that mean Hassan’s Wholesale is now the richest corner shop in Scotland? Cheeky swine kept that quiet, he bumped me out of 15p ?
— 120 (@cpt_stormfield) February 26, 2026
— jamie millard (@Jamie_Millard) February 26, 2026
I got a can of Coke at Celtic park Sunday.???
— jbceltic (@jbceltic7604) February 26, 2026
This tweet takes the “biscuit “! ??? pic.twitter.com/HoFE0UgNFQ
— Finbarfin (@finbarfin) February 26, 2026
Is some free mars bars really big news for rangers now?
— George Millar (@GMillar1874) February 26, 2026
Awesome you’ve got a tuck shop
— David Brown (@DavidBr33139978) February 26, 2026
Their dodgy baby milk is even more poisonous when using toilet water?
— Doit (@doitixoys) February 26, 2026
Enjoy your poisonous nestle danone confectionerys ? nestles riddled with dodgy ingredients
— Maddog M (@MaddogM618958) February 26, 2026
The only nestle I wanna see is the baw “nestle-ing” in the back o there net 4 times on Sunday.
Is The ‘Rangers’ (Sic) News not their weekly club rag !
Give Yourselves a Break
This Nestle story is more of a Lionel Richtea than a Lionel Messi. Sevco supporters are now entitled to the same Viscount prices that bargain hunting Costco customers receive, Nice. Do me a Caramel Wafer, has the GRV Media website not bitten off Bourbon they can chew by serving out this nonsense. They’re scraping the bottom of the barrel, the bears must be dropping a Chocolate Log sensing who is baking Brownies, they’ve had more than Lemon Puff of reading a lot of Brandy Snap from journalists about their failing Club, sugary they can smell a Raspberry Tart a mile away.
GRV Media are Crackers, they’ve made the Jaffa Cake of releasing this underwhelming news too Macaroon, obviously it’s all a bad Custard Cream for fans of the Short Bread Rangers club.
Sevco supporters are pointing the Chocolate Finger towards Minty Biscuits moonbeams Murray whose lack of Cookie Dough was responsible for their former club being swallowed by HMRC like a moist Digestive. The Jammie Dodger was Hobnobs with the Bank of Scotland until the Wagon Wheels fell off. It wasn’t Mr. Kipling who made exceedingly dodgy wholemeals. He thought it was a Rusk worth taking to dunk the Empire Biscuit in the Char.
He’s on the brew with very Peanut Brittle, the former Gingerbread Man now has soggy Ginger Nuts and eats Hardtack instead of Fortune Cookies. The red nosed white haired Garibaldi doesn’t give a Fig Roll in the Short Cake of what has happened to the Cheetos. Murray doesn’t even bother to Tunnocks for games, it’s not his cup of tea, that’s Ritz from a man who feeling a little p-peckish, p-p-p-picked up a sweet £6m partner Penguin then let it drown.
As for the Buttermilk wouldn’t melt in his mouth Andrew Cavenagh he has put them into a Viennese Whirl with the fakeover but once Tea Cakes the Cookie Dough out of the biscuit tin there will be Praline Truffles ahead, it’ll be TimeOut for the Ibrox fans to wake up and smell the Coffee Creams. Since Clement got the Flapjack, Sevco have been on a Mini Rohl the Abernethy hasn’t dropped yet, because the fans are a bit Marshmallow but he’s Malted Milked them for all their worth there will be chants for him to get to Pretzel. He’ll liquidate them Oreo turn the place into a Walmart, Twix one is highly possible. If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our Club.