Keith Jackson has turned into Super Computer to provide loyal bears with some crumbs of comfort over the SPFL Premiership table.
After two months gushing about the coaching skills of Micky Beale matched by his intricate knowledge of every player ever followed up by his negotiating skills in the transfer market the league table has stubbornly refused to budge.
A 3-0 win over Hearts in midweek was greeted with outbreaks of joy across most Scottish media platforms but with the points gap stuck on nine and goal difference climbing week by week it is getting harder to deliver good news to reassure bears.
The more Beale is built up the greater the let down when Celtic follow up with another victory after the gap gets reduced to a hopeful six points for 24 hours.
Glasgow Live! Has recently turned to simulating matches on Football Manager to amuse their readers, in the Daily Record Keith Jackson has turned to Super Computer to provide hope for next season.
It seems that there is an embargo on contract matters involving Alfredo Morelos, Ryan Kent, Scott Arfield, Steve Davis, Filip Helander, Ryan Jack and Allan McGregor. To retain Malik Tillman will cost £5m with James Sands a snip at just £3m.
Jackson reveals:
Enough evidence is beginning to pile up to suggest that Rangers have got something more substantial than just a ‘new manager bounce’ out of Beale’s appointment.
It’s almost certainly too late to turn this season’s Premiership race into a proper title fight. Celtic’s stupendously ridiculous levels of relentlessness will see to that.
In fact, the ease with which Ange Postecoglou’s side took care of their own business on a ploughed field in Perth on Sunday lunchtime underlines the monumental size of the task which Beale has chosen to take on.
He’s chasing after a runaway juggernaut from the other side of the city. From a standing start.
And yet, even though he’s choking on Postecoglou’s fumes for the time being, a fascinating picture is beginning to emerge of what the future might look like when the dust clears and these two are trading blows on a level canvas.
Because, if these current points per game rates were to be extrapolated out over the course of an entire league campaign, then both would be in line to end the season with hauls of 106. And that’s utterly mind boggling territory.
Anyone with O Grade Arithmetic will note that if one team collects 106 points the only way that the other can match that will be if all four Glasgow Derbies end as draws.
Utterly mind boggling stuff. Utterly, utterly.
Lol just read the BOOZE JOCKEYS article there what a ROASTER he is.
Obviously full of the Buckfast when writing that shite that only a newco supporter would take comfort from.
Other than the 3 nil win over their doppelganger klub the new klub from ivrix have been getting by with wins by the skin of their teeth and the ALKIE Jackson has them competing with us.
Guys a nob,,fkn Roy o rovers stuff,, he’s in pain,
If it was the other way around the story would be
‘ Even though he’s had a good start , there’s serious doubts Ange Postecoglou’s Celtic will be able to compete with Beale’s unstoppable rampaging juggernaut next season ‘
And if my auntie had baws she’d be my uncle.
Obviously, in Jackson’s virtual brain, the extrapolated Goal Difference in favour of CFC just wouldn’t exist?
Also, he fails to mention that the ‘Super Computer’ is actually a Sinclair ZX Spectrum.
But I will give Jackson credit for confirming the Ibrox reality:
that the liquidated Rangers FC can only ever compete in a computer generated,
virtual league!
Do you think he’s into the new AI internet supercomputer …ChapGPT ! Now that’s worrying …