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Bayern Munich expose the truth about Malik Tilman

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After months of spin and deflection Bayern Munich have closed the door on Malik Tillman moving to Ibrox.

Micky Beale described the permanent move as a no-brainer, spent hours looking into the midfielder’s eyes, telling him everyfing that he finks about and tipping Tillman as a future Balon d’Or contender.

With a place on UEFA’s Watch List for Financial Sustainability there was never any prospect of Beale getting £5m to spend, even less so when he has Todd Cantwell, Nico Raskin, John Lundstram, Glen Kamara, Ryan Jack, Tom Lawrence and Ianis Hagi cluttering the pay-roll and looking for places in midfield.

It was also quite clear that Tillman had no intention of spending any more international breaks playing five-a-sides with James Tavernier and hearing all about the Hall of Famer.

On July 15 the Gullible fans were told:

RANGERS Football Club are today delighted to announce the signing of Malik Tillman on a season-long loan from Bayern Munich, with an exclusive option to buy subject to international clearance.

The 20-year-old attacking midfielder becomes Rangers’ fifth signing of the summer transfer window.

Tillman joins Ryan Kent, Scott Arfield, Alfredo Morelos and Allan McGregor in walking out on Ibrox. Free agents Kieran Dowell, Dujon Sterling and Jack Butland have been signed with £3.5m spent on Sam Lammers who makes Kent seem prolific.

Before any fees are paid out Beale will have to shift the expensive dead-wood. After seeing how Calvin Bassey and Joe Aribo sunk without trace outside of Scottish football there won’t be a rush of offers for Beale to fink about.

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0 comments

  • Captain Swing says:

    It’s high time they changed the unofficial club song from ‘The Billy Boys’ to ‘Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime?’. Or possibly ‘Money’s Too Tight To Mention’. The Kinks’ ‘Sunny Afternoon’ is another possibility.

  • harold shand says:

    Notice when the rags in this country do a story on this guy they make up big gobbledygook headlines and then go round the houses trying to explain why he ain’t getting signed

  • Tony B says:

    Sam Lammers for fuck’s sake!

    You couldn’t make it up.

  • Al says:

    No need for the ‘fink’ stuff..there are many Celtic fans down south who also have that accent. I dont see why anyones accent is relevant

    • TicToc says:

      Al, the “fink” stuff and our editor’s eloquent piss-taking is marvellous, witty and extremely funny. We’re talking about huns here, and in the banter years, decades, centuries to come?
      The editor spends HUGE amounts of time, to bring us reliable news and laughs. FFS!
      And BTW, “fink” is not an “accent”, it’s between an impediment and laziness and taking the piss out of huns (regardless of background) is, IMO, just great fun. Fukkem!

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