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‘Daily parody never fails to keep us entertained’ ‘tears for souvenirs’ ‘Has to be a wind up’ Ready for Glory Ibrox Special is taken apart

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Not content with their daily diet of good news stories for Bears, the Daily Record is producing an old school hard copy overflowing with predictions about the glories of the season about to unfold.

BEALES BLUES GO ALL OUT FOR SILVER screams the front page with silver apparently a reference to trophies rather than the type of medal that James Tavernier has been picking up as he watches Celtic winning trebles.

Hope springs out of every page in the Record with not even a hint of realism.

Watching five key men in the Behind-Closed-Doors title win quit for nothing hasn’t caused any concern as a couple of free agents are brought in from England on the back of the vibes Micky Beale got from looking into the eyes of prospective signings.

Three forwards have been brought in that suffered relegation last season while Antonio Colak is being sold to Parma from Serie B.

With Leon Balogun signing up a year after being released you’d imagine that some form of reality might kick in but so ingrained are the Record cheerleaders that they can’t see any pitfalls with just over three weeks to go before a trip to the plastic of Ruby Park before the Third Qualifying Round of the Champions League quickly comes around.

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  • Paddybhoy67 says:

    TikTok’s ‘tache – feckin state of that!

  • Scud Missile says:

    Watch out for that genius Guiness logo on the strips.

  • Scud Missile says:

    A think a can smell shite,aye a can definitely smell shite.

  • Scud Missile says:

    With the daiy sevco keeping the jlan updated every couple of days about Arfield and how well he is doing since leaving sevco on a free,don’t be surprised to read an article from Fraser Stanley Fletcher that sevco will be due a bonus of some sort based on appearances goals scored and promotion.

  • Scud Missile says:

    The wage bill must be ready to erupt,surely they can’t sustain keeping hold of all that dross in the background.
    But then again ENGLISH at the BBC has previously stated sevco have 3 teams they can out out,the one for the league the second for the cups and the third for European football.

  • Michael mochan says:

    The daily ranger is right up there with the Beano, Bunty bare arse monthly ,it’s a joke and the currant buns lap it up , surely,at least some of them ,realise they’ll be fighting for 2nd place ,I think Aberdeen are a better bet for 2nd ???

  • Bob (original) says:

    You don’t need to be Nostradamus to see what’s coming at Ibrox.

    Beale fails to secure CL Group stage qualification.

    The ‘genius’ tag is swiftly replaced with ‘gormless’.

    The bears foam at the mouth towards the Blue Room.

    The Blue Room throws the manager under the [McGill’s ?] bus.

    We’ve seen this comedy/horror movie play out at Ibrox several times before. 🙂

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