Stats freak Beale reveals that he is a table-topper!

After his desperate broadcast media conference on Friday Micky Beale had some fresh deflection tactics for the written media, the Dailies.

Back to back defeats from PSV Eindhoven and Celtic sparked an incredible reaction from Ibrox fans that has completely drained the cockiness and arrogance from the Brains Behind Gerrard.

Previously Beale could have talked all day about himself but yesterday he was keen to put it out that he is a new manager without a known background as a player.

The pot-bellied midfielder was quickly released by Charlton and in his early twenties after rejections elsewhere got a job coaching the under-7 side for Chelsea’s North London academy.

Beale has did incredibly well to talk himself up the coaching ladder but put in charge at Ibrox, on his own there has been no hiding place for the self-declared genius of the training pitch.

When results and league tables show up badly there is always stats to call on with Beale telling the Daily Record:

We’re glass half-empty in terms of every game you can’t lose this or drop that. I don’t feel any different going there. Naturally after a defeat you want the team to win and get the wheels in motion again.

If I look at games of football on chances and opportunities to score and not concede… we’ve conceded two goals in the league and I think we’ve given both goals up, to be honest. We’ve got the best defensive record in the league with the least shots on goal and the least xG against.

I’m not a huge fan, but I’m told from the analysis department that’s a good sign. Certainly at the other end of the pitch we’ve got the best xG for and the most shots.

He might not be a huge fan but he is desperate enough to trot out an utterly meaningless stat when his side is behind Motherwell and St Mirren in the SPFL table.

Hopefully Beale’s side limit St Johnstone to one shot at goal today but that the Perth side join Kilmarnock and Celtic in exposing the Brains Behind Gerrard ahead of four home matches in 10 days in front of a very angry and unforgiving audience.