Daily Record revives transfer classic as Close Season Cup is decided

Just a day after Celtic clinched the domestic double the Daily Record has bounced back in trademark style.

Late on Saturday night their rivals at the Scottish Sun got the scoop that Lawrence Shankland was moving to Ibrox.

On Sunday they followed that up with the news that he would arrive as a free agent!

Clearly Robert Grieve is far closer to Shankland’s agent than the also-rans at the Record.

Despite missing out on such an obvious scoop the lads at the Record are taking the Shankland move in good heart.

REAL SCOTS READ THE RECORD!

Over the last month Jackson & Co have been banging on about the need to build a team around a Scottish core. Provided they have the correct DNA.

Players like Kris Boyd, Steven Naismith and Kirk Broadfoot. Ayrshire’s finest, and if their initials are KB that is obviously a bonus.

A standard template at the Record is for players to jet in to sign. Even if they live in Scotland they must jet in to complete signing talks.

Players jet in, they get shown around the state-of-the-art facilities at Murray Park and decided there and then to sign up.

All reference to Dave Murray’s private jet has now been dropped. It was only ever hired back in the days of peak succulent lamb.

Later they climb the famous marble staircase to be given a look around a collection of pennants, ceramics and an old bike in the corner.

Previously they would then be taken to the most revered part of the stadium- The Jimmy Bell Suite.

In there you could smell the atmosphere created by the infamous kitman. Alas Health and Safety forced the closure with the items disposed with.

After signing a lucrative contract, all Ibrox contracts are lucrative there comes the follow up.

THE RECORD NEVER STOPS, OR LEARNS

Generally a glamorous English club and a top European side are mentioned as making last minute bids to hijack the deal.

Both clubs submitted late offers to sign AN Other but despite offering more money the new signing turned them down because his heart was set on Ibrox. Being part of  McLeish/Advocaat/Caixinha/Warburton/Beale/Clement/Warburton Revolution isn’t to be turned down.

The Record has been on that template for 30 years now, print circulation is around 30,000 with the take up on digital subscriptions reported to be quiet.

Meanwhile no £30m offers have been received for Manny Fernandez or Nicky Raskin.

Jets? It’s only down the M8.

— ??Jamboy ?? (@4everajambo) May 24, 2026

Jets in from Edinburgh…..? ?

— TrollBot-on-the downhill-Rhol (@CyberTech999) May 24, 2026

That must have been one short flight.

— GillK (@GillianKeel2) May 24, 2026